A while back, I was at Duke basketball camp, which I attend every year for guys 35 and older. It's like a sleep-away camp for adults, and it's a blast.
Anyway, one of my friends there is a Wall Street guy. Now, I don't own any individual stocks, and I don't follow the market at all. But for some reason, while we were at Whole Foods, walking past the frozen food section, I asked him, "Hey, just out of curiosity, are there any stocks you like?"
The guy looks around like we're planning a heist, leans in, and whispers so quietly I can barely hear him, "Blackberry."
I'm like, "What?"
He repeats, still barely audible, "Blackberry."
"What? I can't hear you," I said, leaning closer.
"Blackberry," he whispers again, a little louder this time.
"Blackberry?" I repeated, my voice rising in disbelief.
"Shut up. Shut the f--up," he hissed, glancing around nervously.
I'm thinking, "Blackberry? The antique that... what are you talking about? There's something called Apple now, like Google and sh*t. No one uses Blackberry anymore."
But he insisted, "No, no, no. I think they've redefined the thing. They're changing their technology. Blackberry, man. Blackberry."
So, trusting his expertise, I went home and called my family office friend. "Can you buy me a crap ton of Blackberry?" I asked.
She was skeptical. "Blackberry? The ancient computer thingy?"
"Yes," I confirmed.
"Why?" she asked.
"Just buy it," I told her.
Well, let me tell you, I watched that stock like a hawk. Every four minutes, I was checking the price. It started at around $18-20, and I rode it all the way down to $3. I was pissed, I couldn't get in touch with my now ex-friend Wall Street guy for more info, and I finally just called it quits.
"F****** just get rid of it. Piece of s***," I told my family office friend.
Of course, four days later, some news broke on Reddit about Blackberry, and the stock shot up to $25. I was kicking myself, thinking I missed out on the big score. So, what do I do? I bought it back, naturally.
As of today, Blackberry is trading at a whopping $2.54 per share.
The moral of the story? If someone whispers a stock tip to you in the middle of the frozen food section like it's the secret to eternal youth, run the other way. Trust me, your bank account will thank you.
P.S. If anyone has any hot tips on a company that makes carrier pigeons, hit me up. I think I'm done with the whole smartphone thing for a while.
